Picky Eaters: "Mom....I don't like THAT!"

So, I am starting this because I have 2 young boys who are 4 & 5 years old and only 10 1/2 months apart. Yeah...crazy!!! I KNOW! I love them so much, but am often faced with the trouble of getting my youngest to eat healthy food. In our home, we don't eat a lot of red meat. However, we do eat a lot of chicken, fish, veggies, and fruits. My boys definitely do NOT drink soda at all! My children do not need any extra sugar as they are plenty hyper all on their own and usually have a short attention span as it is. Soda is just not something you want to add to the mix with a young child. I don't believe that is ever a good idea. They may have a small lollipop or one cookie as a reward. The oldest will eat candy like a champ if he is allowed or if he sneaks into the pantry and climbs the shelves...which he in turn gets in trouble for! My youngest boy doesn't like candy much at all, which is the only really good eating habit yet which makes me happy. We are a very healthy eating family, especially considering the time we live in and what most people eat now. People usually eat frozen foods, canned vegetables, and well...just junk. Fresh produce can get pricey, so it is good utilize the fresh fruit and veggie stands when you can. Most people don't utilize these as much as they should. Buy a good amount before the season ends to stock up on fresh (un-canned) fruits and veggies and freeze them. With the frozen fruits you can cut them up and store them in resealable baggies then use them to make smoothies! This is something we do together and have fun making. Every one can be different...let them pick what to put in. Even freeze bananas (peeled and sliced of course) for your smoothies. I have found that not only are smoothies fun and interactive for the kids, but they love them and they are HEALTHY...shhhhhh!!!! The fruit/veggie stands or Farmer's Markets are also usually less expensive. Much better bang for your buck! A wise man once told me...."Don't eat dead food", meaning don't eat canned, or prepared frozen foods...basically anything that isn't fresh produce or meats. I admit, we have our nights where we just want a frozen pizza because we don't feel like cooking or use canned corn, etc. That is rare though. And in turn we will prepare a fresh veggie along with it so that there is something fresh and healthy as well.

So, let me tell you a little but about the boys and the eating difficulties faced in this house......

My 5 year old son will eat anything you give him! And I mean ANYTHING! He is an exceptional eater with an exceptional appetite. The only downfall with his eating habits are that he takes FOREVER to eat! Literally....could sit there with the same plate of food for over an hour! We have started following some advice and giving him a time limit of 45 minutes. He distracts himself with anything and everything around him. Its like he's bored or would rather be playing. Apparently the average child eats in a half hour, as I was told. So we are easing him into eating a little quicker, yet still chewing his food properly. We don't encourage him to rush...don't get the wrong idea. He so thin and fit....the only 5 year old I know with a 6-pack! And very energetic! Sometimes I worry he is too thin for a little boy and needs to eat MORE....even though our pediatrician says he's just fine...perfect. Every mother worries about how their children eat, what they eat, and how much they eat. (Or so I think we all do!) So that's my BIG 5 year old....

Now, remember....my boys are only 10 1/2 months apart in age. So, my youngest is 4 years old. The PICKIEST eater EVER! There is a split custody agreement between his father and I (separated 4 years now) and that does come in to play with the eating habits believe it or not. That's the only reason I feel I need to divulge that information. Our time is split in 3 month increments due to the distance between the 2 homes. (Also relevant...) Every night, when he is staying with his father, I talk to him and ask how his day went, what he ate for dinner, if he practiced his letters and numbers, etc. (Let's just say...I was with his father long enough to know what is in his refrigerator and more so in the freezer and my 4 year old doesn't need to really tell me.) I almost always get the response that he ate pizza, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, just yogurt, or spaghetti (which is his favorite dinner food). And if I talk to him early enough in the evening, say before 8pm, he usually hasn't eaten dinner yet! The philosophy in the other home is that "well, he wasn't hungry yet...so I let him eat when he wants." We obviously have our differences in parenting. In our home we live by structure and promote healthy active lifestyles. I also believe these eating habits are what is making him so chubby. He is not by any means an over-weight child, but over the last year especially his belly has definitely grown. Maybe its just his body preparing for a growth spurt and it will all even out. I hope. Call it baby fat...who knows! Every child is different, grows different, and progresses different. So I do keep that in mind. I was a chubby kid too and now I am thin and healthy, exercising mother of 2. The pediatrician has never said he is over-weight. And quite frankly, I think his little belly is cute. But in all reality, eating habits are established early in life and are carried on throughout your adulthood. Whether the belly is just baby fat or from not eating healthy doesn't really matter. I just want him to grow up knowing what is good for him and what is not so good for him and to want to live a healthy lifestyle. When he is in our home, usually the first few weeks back is really hard with the eating habits and switch in the types of food. It's a lot of cooking dinner for me, my husband, and the boys......then making my youngest something else to eat because he refuses to eat anything we have prepared. This in turn leaves Mommy with a cold dinner because I am so worried about him just getting food in his belly. Even then, with dinner #2 it's not anything unhealthy...just something more appealing. Even getting him to eat chicken is a struggle...and forget about steak, pork or turkey! If it's not fried chicken then he won't eat it. He says "Mommy...I don't like that kind of chicken!" After the first month or so being in our home we usually build his confidence up enough to begin to try new things. And we try to be patient and remember that the other household is completely different so building his confidence and self-esteem are essential. The things we want him to try are really more repetative things he has already eaten, whether he liked them last time or not. Really, it's just re-familiarizing, which I find essential. We all need to remember what we liked and disliked when we were children...and what we like now that we probably hated when we were young. Over time we develop a more well-rounded palette. When I do re-familiarize him with the healthy foods we eat I do it a little at a time. I once got him to eat asparagus. He actually liked it. I had to trick him into eating it by cutting it up small to look like canned green beans and then telling him the asparagus was green beans! I just wanted him to try something he had never tried before and normally would have turned his nose up at. It worked...and then I told him the green beans he had eaten was actually asparagus. He wasn't fazed. Then when we called his father that night he told him what he had eaten for dinner and Daddy said "Ewe..." and laughed. (He is NOT a vegetable eater AT ALL) He then asked Daddy if he would try it sometime with him at his house. Daddy wasn't real excited about it, but seemed surprised that our little picky eater had even tried asparagus, much more surprised that he actually liked it. I was so proud of my little man. On that plate was the asparagus, applesauce, grapes, and chicken. Let's just say the chicken was the only thing left...because it wasn't fried...like chicken nuggets. This little guy could eat yogurt literally all day long, as well as cereal, applesauce, grapes, and well just about any snack food. We don't usually have much if any snack food in this house which, for us, eliminates the bad eating habits. Our freezer is full...but not of pizza, chicken nuggets, and fish sticks. It is full of edamame (which is better fresh, but hard to find), other fresh picked veggies are frozen so they don't go bad, salmon, tilapia, chicken, beef, pork chops, and of course freeze pops which no kid in the south could live without. By the end of that 3 month time with us, he is eating great all over again. I wish that would continue for his sake. When he returns, its the same battle all over. Every time we think we are making progress, we go backwards yet again. Eventually it will not be so hard for him to make the switch and hopefully he will suggest the healthy food to others. Maybe he can be others' inspiration and encouragement to try new things. It is terribly frustrating dealing with this kind of eater, but ever so rewarding when you know that you have eased them into eating and trying new foods that are healthy for them. When you build their self-confidence it feels good to see them proud of themselves.

So, the point of this is to get feedback and for me to give my readers some simple advice. I wish I could tell you what your child will or will not like and how to prepare it so they will like it...but in reality that is not possible. Every child is different and likes different things. Think simple, yet healthy and creative. If you do need to use the trick I used of telling them one food is something else...once they try it whether they like it or not tell them what it really is so that they know they have just tried something new and what it is they have just eaten. (I don't like to do this because I do not like to 'lie' to my children...this was only one occasion and that one instance infact did show him that he could try other things and not be afraid of them. Turned out he liked it and that was a success. I do not recommend this because every child will respond differently. I just knew mine would not be upset about it, but rather would get excited that he found a new food he liked.) If you have a child who is a picky eater, try some positive re-enforcement, constantly encourage them in all they do, and cheer loud and proud every time they do something great whether it is the first time they stand up/sit up, walk, potty training, riding a bike, throwing a ball, hitting a ball, dancing, or even eating food! And make sure you always tell them how smart they are and tell them constantly that you love them. All of these things help encourage them and build their confidence. Educate them on food and what is healthy and why. Kids always want to know why or what it does...so tell them in "kid" terms. Try to let them help you prepare some of the foods you cook to get them involved and excited about it. Try introducing new foods a little at a time and please be patient with your little ones. Adapt your cooking in ways that will encourage them to eat and look more enticing to them. And please, have a scheduled time to eat or at least around the same time every night. If a child has the choice to eat or play...what do you think he/she will do?? Play of course. You are the parent and you need to tell them when it is time to eat, not let your child tell you when it is time to eat. And remember...you didn't always like everything you eat now as an adult either. Patience, love, and encouragement will get you far in this eating frustration. Ultimately all of these things will lead to a smarter, happier, healthier, more active family! Good luck!